Tuesday, November 18, 2008

10-28-04

Mama,

Tonight I saw a movie that made me cry. How good it felt to do so. I felt so stupid doing it but good too. I have a mirror hooked up so I can spy on my neighbor’s T.V. and this guard walks by and tried to take it. I ripped it out of his hand and asked, “WTF he thought he was doing?” I must have looked crazy with tears in my eyes and anger in my voice, but he backed off. “Somersby” was the name, how sad.

So on a better note, I got a letter today and yesterday, well Saturday. I got a card from you and a letter. So I’m happy. I got chills reading your new one. How your words made me feel, it was uplifting to hear (read) you sounding so excited. It made me happy. I’m glad things are happening for you. I pray every night for you. It should be paying off. :) It’s getting better everyday in every way. Keep me posted on this! I love you.

So I can tell your prayers are working. I feel great! So it is only fair to get you feeling the same way. I heard form my lawyer yesterday and the state asked for another continuance. It was granted, but then her reply had to be submitted in by the 14th. So I am waiting to see what the judgment on it is. I should hear something soo. It’s the 18th or 19th , I’m not sure.

Today was my neighbor’s birthday, the one that wouldn’t stop talking until he had his T.V. Now he doesn’t talk that much. He is sad and touchy. I tried to cheer him up today. He is only 22 – sad. Anyway he rolled on the ground when he saw me rip the mirror out of the cop’s hand and yell at him while I was crying. So, at least he went to bed with a smile.

My other neighbor is now on the talking thing. He has a T.V. but says that it is boring. So instead he stands at the bars and stares at the wall and asks me all sorts of questions, like a toddler. :) He’s cool though. A little off, but cool.

The dude down at the end is dying of emphysema and is crazy as hell. He is the birthday boys neighbor. Then going down the row is the birthday boy , then me and then crazy.

Alright, I got side tracked- Sorry! I am getting tired, so I want to let you know that I love you and I am so proud of you! But alas, I am yawning, so I will talk with you tomorrow. Good night!

It’s tomorrow night; it’s kinda’ late. I saw another cheesy ass movie. Destiny and fate play a lot in love, don’t you think? I’m sitting here wondering what God has in store for me. All form some cheese! It was uplifting though. These people won 4 million and split it up with a waitress. They did all kinds of things together that made me smile. All of these random acts of kindness towards the masses. It was refreshing. They were good people, despite the horrible things put in there path. That has been a running theme in these movies lately- overcoming adversity. What a breath of fresh air! It put me in this extremely positive mood and despite the time, I had to share it with you.

I’m hoping all is well there in the land of apples. I am also hoping you can feel or sense my feelings. I’m sending you wonderful vibes as I write- Feel them! I’m sure you are asleep, but your dreams are important too! Dream beautifully tonight. I love you Mama.

So I got all these books form the library, which is actually only three. I read up on this guy –Edgar Cayce. He was just some guy that could put himself into some trance and tap into this thing Carl Jung refers to as the “collective consciousness”. So Edgar mad all of these prophecies. He could diagnosis people’s illnesses miles away. He could speak any language and answer any question. He went to the White houses twice. At one point in time, there was a hospital built were the doctors diagnosed according to him.

Years ago, I stole a library book called, ”The Hopi survival kit”. In the book, in a completely different everything, there his name, Edgar Cayce, pops up. So I figure it is fate showing me that I am on the right track.

This book is crazy it talks about the Hopi prophecies received B.C. It is carved in stone before the ten commandments. The book is written by a Lutheran minister who compares the bringer of the message to Jesus. He insinuates that they are the same person or entity. I haven’t finished it yet. I’m about half way done with it – Crazy. I’ve been reading up on Tewa’s too. They were fierce warriors who the Hopi asked to come and live with them for protection. When they came, the Hopis’ wanted to see if they would fight. so they called the --------{I can’t read this word}- to fight. The Tewas killed them all except for three and let them tell there people to never come back. The Tewa and Hopi met in a field. The Hopi chewed some corn and had the Tewa eat it to signify that they would learn the language. Then the Tewa chewed some sweet corn and then spit it out. And never taught the Hopi, Tewa. Even now the Hopi can’t speak Tewa and speak to each other only in Tewa. Some Navajo’s can speak it . But a true Hopi can’t. I thought that was cool That and my stupid cheesy chick flicks (one that made me cry) :)

I hope all is well for you. Continue to be yourself and nothing can stop you. I believe in you as always. I will continue to pray for you. I am proud of you and every letter I get more so.

Jesse’s with you ‘cause I send him! All my angels watch over you including him.
I am sending you a picture I drew. I hope you like it. He’s a soy-yo-ko Monster that eats bad children. So if a kid acts bad a soy-yo-ko will get ‘em.

I love you my Mother.
Your son, All the love, Charlie

Tell Mitch I said, “What’s up?” ( I got that picture of him and chopper staring at the wall- Shit cracks me up!)

[The next letter was in the same envelope as the first]

Mama,

Tonight the moon is red. The last time I saw the moon turn red. I came in here. This morning, I saw a full moon and tonight there is blood on the moon. I have dreamt and woke up speaking this phrase, “Blood is on the moon”. I am wondering the significance. As I see 12:00 midnight appear across the screen and I think how weird it is. I have never noticed them doing that before. As it gives me more to ponder, my mind drifts towards the up and coming election and the world series. I sat and cheered for a losing St. Louis.

On the world news tonight I saw that Peter Jennings was doing a piece on the last Navajo Code Talker alive and how John Kerry had him bless his campaign and his podium. The screen flashed up to an elderly Indian smudging towards the four directions blessing John Kerry. Peter Jennings said the man did the same thing for the Red Sox on there first game this season. I am praying this man takes office and takes the Texas mentality out of the White House. There is nothing worse than our nation supporting ignorance. Now Bush’s angle is to scare people into voting for him? Just one more reason I hate anything “cowboy” related.

John Kerry had the “T.O. singers” sing the national anthem in O’Odham during the democratic convention. This is a man I want in office. He wouldn’t be my first choice in a situation with more candidates. But he is the lesser of two evil. And now I see that the moon has turned red and I feel the forces of good and evil battling on our Mother Earth. I can feel something!!! I will pray that they would makes a turn to the better while I sleep.

The worst is over. I have this feeling of relief in my shoulders. As I saw 12:00 come across the screen, the sense of euphoria entered my brain. I want the world to heal. I saw a segment on the news, where Russia entered into an accord to cut down on greenhouse gases. Kyoto- something and us are the only major country not to go along with these guidelines. I’m sure you already know, I hate this man Bush!!

I wonder how much longer this so called war on terror is going to last. The longer we are over seas, bombing and killing, we are only creating more terrorists. And the “cowboys” in Washington justify it, hiding behind democracy. Murder is not the solution to anything. If another government cam over and took our own dictator, Bush, out of power and had there Armies on our street with tanks and guns murdering innocent people- We too would become terrorists! So called insurgents- like we would not do everything we could do in our power to destroy all that they stood for!

Sorry. It’s is just that I am surrounded by stupidity every day. And our so called leader is so full of Texas shit and to so that so far half of the population supports the the retardation of our society! AHHHH!!!! God help the World.

I just looked out behind the bars and got scared :)The guard walked by and scared the shit out of me :) It’s scary in here at midnight :)
So the world is better and worse everyday. I’m glad you are on the good side of things. :) I didn’t mean to vent on you and I wonder how you feel about all of this. It is just so f***ing frustrating 21st century idiots. I swear half and half- the world has balanced itself tonight.
Half the world is sleeping while the rest are aware, Destiny will come regardless. I just hope it is for the better.

I love you my Mama. I wish I could give you a hug :) Today I had a craving for some of your baked buns, hot right out of the oven. I love that bread! I miss bread made into tuna fish sandwiches. I crave it! Bomb ass shit! :)

So they won’t let me have any of my smudging stuff without a lighter. But they don’t sell them. So how am I supposed to get one? I wrote these stupid Chaplin asking for one. I can not believe that though. It has to be some sort of discrimination. I’m sure if I had a Bible, they wouldn’t deny me access simply because I didn’t have communion. Oh no, that would be wrong.

So I have been recharging my aura. I’m utilizing the white light, all over my body, head to toe. It works. But when I saw John Kerry smudging tonight, I admit I was jealous. :) I will pray for him and his cause.

I love you Mama and hope you are continuing young, strong and positive thoughts. I love you very much and am so proud of you and have and will accomplish (and fed?):)

Thank you for all of your guidance and support. You might not see yourself as the go getter person, but you are the all knowing problem solver. You have always been the people fixer and helper. The people who come in contact with you through out your days are forever changed for the better. You might not realize it, but us boys were brought up that way; to see the effect you as a person can help the over all good of the world.

I am sure you feel my frustration!

Your son,
mad love,

Charlie

[This page had “Old yet new” written on the top of it and was placed in the envelope with the other letters.]

I am now listening to some abstract sounds. It’s kind of soothing though. It reminds me of someone playing with a synthesizer, after they’re shown where the P.C.F. is. :) I don’t mind it though, I love an echo! I think people in general love a good echo where there is one to grasp. Imagine standing on the edge of a huge canyon. Are you not going to yell? I mean the sound of reverberation is hard to come by in our every day lives. I love it! The person who made this track does. Does. Does. Does. :)

Oh I guess it was some “new age Indian” music HA! How stupid :) So I was listening to this 3 hour ska punk show earlier and the dude played like five songs. I know…big deal, right? It was five songs sent in from prison “cell block rock”. How funny, and the guy who sent it in is here – somewhere. So I wrote down the address and am also going to request some songs from prison! I am so excited!!

Alright that is over. I’m changing the stations. Oh TOOL!! It’s old school too – 1993!

So, today we were going to rec and on the run above me a dude cam out swinging! When I heard that I was trying to picture it but couldn’t. I mean, they handcuff us anytime we leave the sell. So, how can he come out like that? Anyhow, I was never taken to rec. They locked us down HA! I mean we’re in our cells 24- well we go to rec. for 3 hours. We get a shower for 15 minutes every other day. So, we don’t go outside to these little cages and 4:30 and we’re all of a sudden “locked down” – Please!!! It made me laugh. But I’m getting soooooo tired of bathing in a sink! Ha! But complaining doesn’t solve anything. HA! “lockdown”!!

I love you my mama. Give Chopper a big hug for me!


[Along with the other letters had drew an abstract drawing for me. And around it he wrote this]

The Devil takes on many forms – all shapes and sizes. He can look like Bush or Kerry :) Evil is evil, refocus and see him all around, inside and out. How funny that person who is supposedly fighting “the war on terror” is using terror tactics to gain votes. Showing terrorists as wolves- yet Bush is the leader of the pack. Put the dog to sleep – please!!:)
Happy Halloweeny! Boo!
Charlie
Alright enough of that political sh**!

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